Better When I'm With You
by Totoromo
Summary: IkkaYumi. Ikkaku has always loved Yumichika, but has stayed a friend until he sees that Yumichika really needs him. "The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way."
1. Better When I'm With You

**Title: **Better When I'm With You

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Rating: **M, language, sex, violence.

**Description: **Ikkaku/Yumichika fic. Ikkaku has always loved Yumichika, but has stayed a friend until he sees that Yumichika really needs him**.**"The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way." Yaoi. M for language, sexual situations, violence.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

_A/N: Oh no, why am I starting another fic when I'm still working on a bunch of others? Sorry, sometimes I just can't control my inspiration. I'm basing this (a lot) on a true story, which is funny because that probably means it's going to be more dramatic than my others fics. People like the generally laid back approach that have I that in most of my fics, but surprisingly sometimes real life can be a little more intense. In all honesty, my fic "Orange" is a lot closer to my true perspective on Ikkaku and Yumichika's beginnings, but what's life without experimentation? Growth or stagnation my friends. _

* * *

Ikkaku was surprised when it was Kenta that answered the door. "Try and cheer him up, he's being a depressing bitch today," Kenta said as he left, his large frame barely fitting through the doorway.

"Uh, bye," Ikkaku said.

Yumichika was at the stove, facing away from Ikkaku.

"Hey Yumichika, making me dinner?" Ikkaku joked.

Yumichika didn't answer for a minute then turned with a small smile. "Absolutely! What do you want?"

"Aren't you already making it?" Ikkaku looked at the pot that Yumichika had been stirring.

"It's just plain noodles right now," Yumichika said. "I have some pork and beef. I wasn't sure which to go with, or whether I should go spicy or mild."

"Is there going to be enough?"

"Yeah," Yumichika said. "Kenta didn't tell me he had to work tonight so I bought way more food than I can eat alone."

It was only about twenty minutes later and the two of them were sitting on the ground at a low table. Ikkaku was practically shoveling food down his throat.

"Do you just not eat when I don't feed you, or what?" Yumichika laughed at him.

"You know I even burn water," Ikkaku said between mouthfuls.

"Is that why you only drink sake instead of tea?" Yumichika grinned.

Ikkaku laughed. "You have no idea what my roommate was making when I left."

"What?"

"Tuna fish soup."

"Like tuna steak, or what?" Yumichika asked, confused.

"No, like shredded tuna fish from a can poured into water."

Yumichika shuddered.

"I was staring in horror when he began to add cut up pickles and pepperoncinis."

"Oh my god, why?" Yumichika asked.

"Probably just because we had it. That's how he cooks. Whatever is in the house and not bad, or at least not super bad, goes into a pot and somehow he thinks that's food," Ikkaku said. "He doesn't even need to eat anyways, so he must just be poisoning himself for the hell of it."

Yumichika heaped another spoonful of food into Ikkaku's bowl.

"Thanks!" Ikkaku grinned. He paused, looking at Yumichika closely. "Hey Yumichika, are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"It's just that…," Ikkaku had been noticing that for the last maybe six months or so Yumichika was definitely being un-Yumichika-like in a variety of ways. He didn't want to say that Yumichika looked sick, because that seemed mean. He almost used the word "dumpy" but then Yumichika would hit him. Instead he went with, "You're not looking as colorful as you used to."

"Oh well…I mean…" Yumichika hesitated. "I don't go out that much anymore anyways and Kenta think that I shouldn't really be dressing so flashy."

Ikkaku's immediate response, internally, was "well since when did you give a fuck about that?" but he bit his tongue. He tried a different approach out loud. "There's a street fair going on downtown. Let's go."

Yumichika frowned. "Oh yeah, because you and I have so much money to spend."

"Come on, you can at least get out of the house and have a little fun," Ikkaku insisted. "In fact, I'm absolutely sure we're going so you should go and get changed so we can get out of here while there's still light."

* * *

It had been a good idea after all. Yumichika enjoyed shopping even if he wasn't planning on buying anything, so visiting the craftsman and vendor tables got him in a good mood.

Ikkaku wandered off on his own a little, checking out some hand crafted knives before passing a man who was packing up his table. "What are those?" Ikkaku asked, pointing at the round objects that the man was putting away.

"Confetti eggs," the man said. "I was hoping more people would buy them."

"Confetti eggs?"

"You empty the egg out carefully and then packed confetti and glitter into the shell. You seal it up again, and it just looks like a normal eggs. It's for throwing at people," the man said.

"Oh yeah, how many you got?"

"Tell you what, these things start stinking if you don't use them quickly so I'll give you a deal if you buy them all."

Yumichika sensed something flying at him and turned with his arm up, blocking his face. He was shocked when an explosion of confetti and glitter engulfed his face. He sneezed.

"HA HA HA HA!" Ikkaku laughed.

"What the hell was that?" Yumichika asked, blinking.

Ikkaku didn't answer. He reached into the bag that he was carrying and picked up another egg, aiming for Yumichika. This time Yumichika dodged though, and the egg went past him, narrowly missing a man behind him and hitting the wall with a cracking sound.

Yumichika walked over to Ikkaku and peered into the bag.

"Confetti eggs," Ikkaku explained.

"HEY!" someone yelled. A tall wide man was yelling at them.

"What?" Yumichika asked.

After getting a better look at them the man said, "You little fags almost hit me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yumichika said, palming an egg and with expert aim landed it directly into the man's impressive beard. "There you go. Ikkaku has terrible aim."

The man roared and Ikkaku and Yumichika darted off laughing. Ikkaku pelted a noble looking woman who was making her bodyguard carry a dozen bags. She shrieked satisfyingly. Yumichika gestured to Ikkaku and Ikkaku tossed him an egg. Yumichika managed to jump over a sleeping town security guard and get him with the egg from directly above. The man was so startled he fell backwards. Ikkaku was laughing insanely and Yumichika couldn't help but join in. A couple of street rats had joined them in their mad dash at this point, jumping on top of tables, bouncing off of the alley walls and sprinting across the roofs of nearby buildings.

"Hey, kid!" Ikkaku yelled to one of them, tossing him an egg.

"Over here!" Another kid called with her hands out.

* * *

"What are you, children?" Kenta said to the two men sitting in front of him. Ikkaku couldn't help it, he started to laugh. Yumichika tried to look serious, but was choking on his giggles.

"God, you're so funny trying to be all tough," Ikkaku snickered.

Yumichika didn't want to agree but he also couldn't help but break up a little at that.

"Yumichika," Kenta said with a frown. "I can't have you guys running around ruining my reputation like this. I'm part of the security for this town; I'm not supposed to be hauling my own boyfriend in for being a public nuisance!"

"Come on, it's not like it's that hard to keep this place safe. It's as boring as rocks and as safe as clay," Ikkaku pointed out.

"It's an important job!" Kenta said. He looked at Yumichika. "You know I want to become a shinigami. I can't have you doing this."

"You want to become a WHAT?" Ikkaku exclaimed.

"I don't see why you'd react that way. Yumichika said almost the same thing," Kenta replied.

"Kenta, shinigami are uptight, self-righteous assholes. That's why!" Yumichika said.

"Look, you guys aren't street thugs anymore, there's no reason to not respect authority. Especially mine," Kenta glared.

Yumichika sighed.

Uptight, self-righteous asshole describes Kenta exactly, Ikkaku thought as he walked home. I hope I didn't get Yumichika into too much trouble.

* * *

**Three years ago**

"Ikkaku, this is Yumichika Ayasegawa. Yumichika, this is Ikkaku Madarame," Yuto introduced them.

"Hi," Yumichika said with a smile.

God he's gorgeous, Ikkaku thought. Those purple eyes are amazing.

Ikkaku was still being distracted by Yumichika's perfectly formed lips when he heard Yuto talk again.

"Yumichika and I have been friends for years. His boyfriend ditched him today so I thought I'd invite him along," Yuto said, looking at Ikakku meaningfully.

Yeah, yeah, "boyfriend", got you, Ikkaku thought with a groan. "Ditched you?" he asked.

"Well, he just had to go in to work so I wound up having some free time," Yumichika said, running his fingers through his hair.

Hair…shiny…Ikkaku thought (barely thought, his mind wasn't fully functioning for some reason).

"You might know his boyfriend, Kenta. He's kind of hard to miss; about 7 feet tall with red hair," Yuto pointed out.

Fine, whatever, "big boyfriend", shut up already Yuto, Ikakku thought.

"Well, before we head out anywhere I need to pick up my wages from the store," Ikkaku said.

"Did he not pay you again?" Yuto asked. "Didn't he stiff you two weeks ago too?"

"Yeah, it'll be a whole month of pay. It's been a bitch waiting for it, but on the plus side, now it'll seem a lot bigger!"

"Yeah, let's see if you blow it all over a single weekend," Yuto laughed.

* * *

The three men walked into a dingy shop in the middle of town.

"What do you want?" the man behind the counter asked.

"What the hell Naoki? Don't be a dick. You know I'm here for my money," Ikkaku said.

"I'm sorry, but you don't have a job anymore."

"WHAT? You're firing me?"

"The store is closing. No one has a job anymore," Naoki said.

"Ok, that sucks for you but that doesn't mean you get to not pay me. I still fucking worked. Hell, I worked overtime and even came in early!" Ikkaku said with a raised voice.

"Well, you're not getting paid," Naoki responded, his eyes narrowing.

Out of the corner of his eye Ikkaku say Yumichika walking away. Great, he probably thinks I'm a freak with anger problems.

Yumichika stuck his head out the door and looked around. "There's no one nearby," he told Ikkaku.

Heh, I guess I thought wrong, Ikkaku thought with a grin. He turned towards Naoki. "Pay me," he said firmly.

Naoki was beginning to get nervous at this point, but he still really didn't want to part with any cash.

"Pay up, or something very bad is going to happen to you," Ikkaku threatened, his voice low and his intent very clear.

Naoki looked at the other two men for help. Yuto was staring at the wall with his arms folded over his chest and Yumichika was still keeping a look out the door.

"Fine," Naoki gave in.

"Sorry about that," Ikkaku said a little while later.

Yumichika just shrugged. "Damn it," he said, seeing someone in the distance. "It's Ayaka," he said with a sigh. Yuto was already gone, walking towards her.

"She's such a bitch, why are they still together?" Ikkaku asked.

"I don't know. She's only passably good-looking and her voice is like a screw going into your head," Yumichika said.

Ikkaku laughed at that, hard. "That is _exactly_ what her voice is like," he said. "In fact, it's beginning to give me a headache from all the way over there."

"Let's go," Yumichika said, grabbing Ikkaku's arm lightly and leading him to another store.

"A furniture store?" Ikkaku asked. He hadn't been paying attention to where they were going at first because Yumichika hadn't let go of him the whole way and he had been close enough that Ikkaku had been happily smelling Yumichika's shampoo. Or was it cologne?

"It's indoors, it'll be cooler. Plus, there's lots of place to sit," Yumichika pointed out.

They set up camp on a comfortable futon, chatting about music, how unseasonably hot it had been, and sharing bitch stories about Yuto's girlfriend.

"I think I want to break up with my boyfriend," Yumichika said after awhile.

"Oh yeah?" Ikkaku asked, not entirely without self-interest.

"He's so clingy and needy. I feel like he's stifling me most of the time. The only times I can go out by myself is when he has to go to work. He doesn't like my friends, well, aside from Yuto…just a lot of things," Yumichika explained. "I used to think it was cute when he was following me around like a puppy dog, especially considering how big he is. He practically stalked me for months and begged me to date him. I guess I was just flattered, and he is definitely good looking. He's funny too," Yumichika sighed. "I think it's over though. I'm too independent to be cooped up and treated like a pet."

"Good for you," Ikkaku said with a grin. "You should do whatever makes you happy."

"Sirs?" an employee said, walking up to them.

"Yes?" Yumichika asked sweetly.

"Are you planning on buying anything?"

"No," Yumichika responded. "We're just waiting for a friend. It's way too hot outside in the sun."

Ikkaku had no idea what it was that Yumichika was doing; it certainly didn't look like he was doing anything at all but he had to have been doing something because that employee was starting to melt away.

"Um," the man said blankly.

"We're not planning on staying too long," Yumichika said with a smile.

"Oh, well that's fine then," the man said, walking away with a slight blush on his face.

"Gesh kid, you have magical powers," Ikkaku laughed after the employee was gone.

Yumichika simultaneously didn't like being called a kid and liked being thought of as younger, so he let the comment slide.

"Hey," Yuto said, entering the shop (alone, thankfully). He sat down on a chair across from them.

"So, who are you?" Ikkaku asked Yumichika.

"What?"

"I mean, you dress and look a certain way, but you act another," Ikkaku tried to explain.

"Ha ha," Yuto laughed. "You think I'd be friends with an uppity pansy? He's one of us."

"Oh yeah?" Ikkaku said. "A street rat?"

"Yeah," Yumichika answered.

They didn't really have any plans and just wandered around walking towards the part of town that had the most food, figuring they'd work out what they wanted once they got there.

"Hey, you," a security officer said, calling to Yumichika.

"What?" Yumichika asked in a voice as cold as ice.

"Come over here," the officer said. Yumichika complied, Ikkaku and Yuto following behind him at a distance.

"Do I know you?" the man asked.

"I highly doubt it," Yumichika replied.

"I think…that I'm going to have to take you in," the officer said, looking up and down at Yumichika. "I need to search you to make sure that you don't have any dangerous hidden weapons," he said with a wide grin.

"Oh, but I do," Yumichika answered.

"What?" the man was taken aback.

"I don't like being helpless, so I make sure that I'm armed at all times," Yumichika stated.

The officer was just now noticing the two men behind Yumichika. Yuto was stick thin but an easy 6'5". Ikkaku was shorter, but not by much, and obviously built, not to mention that he had a zanpakuto strapped to his hip.

"Well…I can see you're not doing anything harmful," the officer said. "I'll let you go this time."

"Why thank you, officer," Yumichika said sarcastically.

"Sometimes these small town dip shits are worse than shinigami," Ikkaku said as they walked away.

"No, I'm still pretty sure shinigami are the worst, because they know they can get away with it," Yumichika replied.

"Amen," Yuto said.

* * *

Somehow, it almost always wound up that they'd hang out together on the weekend. Yumichika was exactly the type of person that Ikkaku liked being with. He was a smart ass, had a minimum respect for the law, loved to bet, and would take on almost any dare (as long as it wasn't too "gross or unbecoming"). He was also a genius at coming up with stupid games to pass the time, which was a major bonus considering they were both dead broke almost all the time. He taught Ikkaku how to stack a deck, although he claimed that he never actually cheated at cards and just liked doing magic tricks. Ikkaku didn't believe him, Yumichika had way too good of a winning streak when they'd go out gambling (assuming that they had two cents to rub together). Luckily, Yumichika's boyfriend Kenta seemed to like Ikkaku, so even when Kenta was being overbearing with all of Yumichika's other friends, he was happy to have Ikkaku over.

"Maybe he just doesn't like chicks," Ikkaku shrugged.

"He doesn't have to like them, they're _my_ friends," Yumichika complained.

"So…you guys doing ok?" Ikkaku asked.

"I tried to breakup with him," Yumichika said. "He just cried and cried though. It was so pathetic. I mean, he just wouldn't stop. I was actually getting kind of pissed off at him, but then for some reason I felt guilty. I know I'm just being a sap, but what does another couple of weeks mean at this point?"

* * *

**Current Time**

How the hell did it go from that to how things are now? Ikkaku thought as he walked home. It's been three years…and I still can't get over him. I'm doing it to myself by being his friend, but I can't be away from him. I haven't even looked at another man or woman since I've meet him. He's everything I ever wanted, and he's the best friend I've ever had. Besides, he has hardly anyone right now. Everyone else is gone. Even Yuto doesn't see him that much anymore. It's just Yumichika stuck in that shitty place working at a shitty job and having to go home to Kenta every day.

But…he does love him, right? That makes it ok. If Yumichika is happy, that's really all that matters. Except that he's not acting very happy. I don't know what the hell Kenta is doing to him, but it's sucking the life out of him. Then again, maybe it's not Kenta's fault. Yumichika has been really sick lately with all of these headaches. He looks like he needs to sleep more too.

When Ikkaku got home he thought about the night. It had been pretty fun, at least until the end when Mr. Self-Important Killjoy got all mad at them. A shinigami? Please.

Instead, Ikkaku imagined the night ending a lot differently.

_He and Yumichika ran through the streets, dodging their pursuers. They waved to the street kids as they split up, hiding in a small alleyway. Yumichika leaned against the wall, panting, his face slightly flushed and a smile on his face._

"_Have fun?" Ikkaku asked._

_Yumichika just laughed in response._

_He's so beautiful, especially when he's happy like this, Ikkaku thought. He ran his hand along Yumichika's jaw. Yumichika looked up at him, still smiling. He moved forward and kissed Yumichika, his entire body pressed up again him, pushing him into the alley wall. He pulled away. _

"_Ikkaku," Yumichika breathed, wrapping his arms around his back, bringing him in for another kiss._

Damn it, Ikkaku thought. I need to stop doing this to myself.

He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling, trying to absolutely not think about how turned on he was.

I'm just going to go out drinking, he decided.

At the bar, the bartender gave him a look as he downed more and more sake.

"Women problems?" the bartender guessed.

Ikkaku looked over at him. Better to play it safe, he thought. There are too many anti-gay people in this damn town. "Yeah," he said. "I love my best friend."

"Any reason you're not with her?"

"She's been with the same man the entire time I've known her, so it's not like I've had a chance or anything."

"Well, there's no real reason to wait, right? I mean if you're right for each other, shouldn't you go for it?" the bartender offered.

"I'm not like that," Ikkaku admitted. "I mean, what the hell do I know, maybe she's happy. Besides, my father was a cheating bastard and I kind of promised myself that there were things I was never going to do in my life. Stealing someone's girl is one of those things." Abandoning my child and getting murdered in my own bed would be two others, Ikkaku thought.

"Well, if you can't have her, it might be time to move forward."

"Forward…I don't think I could…" Ikkaku thought.

The bartender shrugged. "Might as well have a little fun though, right?"

* * *

It was only a couple of days later and Kenta, Yumichika, and Ikkaku were sitting down in a restaurant.

"I gotta go now," Kenta said, standing up abruptly.

"What?" Yumichika asked, shocked.

"Work."

"If it was work then you knew you'd have to go," Yumichika accused.

"I did," Kenta responded. "See you later."

"Why the hell would he come and not even order, just to leave?" Ikkaku asked. People in the Soul Society didn't usually need to eat, so going out was a social occasion and fairly rare. It was a little different for the three of them, since they all had high enough spiritual pressure that they needed to eat, but it was still incredibly rude.

"He's probably trying to punish me again," Yumichika sighed.

Ikkaku cocked an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Who knows? I don't even try to figure it out anymore," Yumichika said.

"Hello, are you ready to order?" the waitress said.

"Do you have any specials today?" Ikkaku asked.

As they continued to talk, Yumichika began to glare at the woman, she was tossing her hair and laughing entirely too much for his taste. Ikkaku wasn't unaware that she was flirting with him, and he was enjoying it. It had been a long time since he'd dated anyone; maybe the bartender the other night had been right. Not that this chick was really his type, she was entirely too girly and had an annoyingly high pitched giggle. Still…

Later that evening, Yumichika and Ikkaku walked slowly through town, looking at random stalls and shops, wasting time. Ikkaku paused in front of the flower shop. He picked up a red rose. Hm, maybe I should…Yumichika plucked it out of his hands and put it back. Ikkaku looked up at him. "She's is absolutely not your type. She'd drive you crazy in an hour." God I'm being bitchy, Yumichika thought to himself. If Ikkaku wants to have a fling with some ditzy blond waitress, why should I care? Except that he did. A lot.

Ikkaku wasn't thinking anything, because Yumichika had put his hands on his chest when he was talking to him and hadn't moved them yet. His heart always started to race and his brain cut out whenever Yumichika casually touched him like that. He looked down at Yumichika's hands. Yumichika instantly jerked them back.

"Wait a minute," Ikkaku said sternly. "Let me see your hands."

"What?" Yumichika backed away slightly.

Ikkaku reached forward and grasped Yumichika hands, pulling them up. As the long sleeves of Yumichika's kimono fell back they revealed a pair of startlingly purple bruises on his wrists.

Ikkaku's face darkened. "How did this happen?"

"You know I bruise easily," Yumichika said lightly.

"Bullshit," Ikkaku said. Hell, he and Yumichika would freaking spar together, he knew how tough he was. "Assuming I even believed that, it doesn't answer my question."

"Kenta just grabbed them a little hard is all," Yumichika said. Inside he was fuming, not at Ikkaku, or even at Kenta, but at himself.

_Kenta grabbed Yumichika's two slender wrists with one massive hand, and pulled him up sharply._

"_Ouch! What the fuck, Kenta!" Yumichika said. "Let me go, I'm leaving!"_

_Kenta just lifted higher, pulling Yumichika off of his feet, dangling him in the air. It was a helpless feeling that Yumichika didn't like. He considered trying to kick Kenta, but figured that would just make things worse. "Put me down," he said, feeling the strain in his wrists._

"_Promise me you're going to stay. We're going to talk," Kenta said._

"_We've talked enough, now fucking…" Yumichika winced at the pressure. "Fine, whatever."_

_Of course, Kenta's version of talking just involved him mauling Yumichika. Why do I even let him touch me? Yumichika thought to himself, feeling Kenta's kisses on his neck._

I'm not going to let Ikkaku know how weak I am. I don't know what the hell I'm doing…I'm just too damn tired all the time. How the hell did this happen? Why don't I stop it? Is there even any point to stopping it? The man is like a damn stone, nothing gets into his head. He's relentless; he won't ever let me alone. He's told me that, and I know it's true. I don't want Ikkaku to know…he can't know. Yumichika put on a wan smile to assure Ikkaku that everything was fine.

Ikkaku watched Yumichika but didn't say anything. I'm going to fucking kill that guy next time I see him, Ikkaku thought. He knew it was an irrational thought, but it still comforted him.


	2. Overcoming

**Overcoming**

* * *

It turns out that Ikkaku didn't get a chance to "share his feelings" with Kenta the next time they met after all.

"Where's Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked when Kenta showed up to meet their small group of friends without him.

"Oh, I locked him in a closet."

"You what?" Yuto said a little stunned.

"WHERE is he?" Ikkaku asked as calmly as he could. If he freaked out over it he was sure that Kenta wasn't going to tell him.

"It's not my fault. He wouldn't agree that I'd be a good shinigami and I…"

Yuto looked over at Ikkaku, who was so angry he couldn't even say anything.

"Take us there," Yuto said, interrupting Kenta's explanation before it caused Ikkaku to decapitate him.

* * *

"And FUCK YOU TOO!" Yumichika said, punching out another person. There was a demolished closet door behind him.

"Sir, this is the official security office of this town you can't…" Yumichika shut that one up with a kick into his gut.

"I'm FUCKING PISSED OFF so don't get near me unless YOU WANT A HOLE IN YOU!" he roared. He stormed outside.

Out of the building, in the daylight, Ikkaku, Yuto, and Kenta came up. Yumichika took one look at the group and turned around to go back inside.

"Wait…Yumichika…," Ikkaku called out.

Yumichika paused.

"Just…come with us," Ikkaku said. If Yumichika stayed there was no doubt that they were going to at least throw him into detention.

If Ikkaku hadn't been there Yumichika wouldn't have cared at all. He sighed and turned around, not looking at Kenta. "Fine, let's go," he said.

* * *

"You're so needy and so vain; no one would ever want to be with you. You're useless, you do nothing. No one will ever love you the way I love you," Kenta said to Yumichika the next day, during their daily argument.

One side of Yumichika thought this was total bullshit; the other was really worried it was true. What would I even want in someone else? I don't even know anymore. Ikkaku, he thought. If I could have someone that was kind of like Ikkaku, I think that I'd really like that. I know that it would probably mess up our relationship to ever say something like that to him, but maybe there's someone else out there like him. There has to be, right? Or at least decent people, people not…not like this, that don't make me feel like I don't even have the right to wake up in the morning.

I can't leave him though, he'll never let me. He either cries, or threatens to kill himself, or…forces me to not leave. I'm stronger than him in my spiritual pressure, but if I hit him after all of this, it makes me feel like I would be just the type of person he is. He makes me feel so small and weak, and like no one wants to look at me or be friends with me. How can I believe all of that when I know it's not true? I don't understand myself anymore.

"You know what? It's over," Kenta said.

Wait, what? Yumichika was broken out of his glum thoughts.

"You heard me. I'm breaking up with you."

Yumichika was immediately angry. I take all of this shit and now you think you can dump ME? He had never been dumped or rejected before. Immediately after that first wave of anger though he realized the thing that he should be thinking, "I'm free". _He_ did it this time. I won't let him take it back. He can't blame me for this.

"Do you really mean that?" Yumichika pressed. If Kenta was anything, he was a bastard about sticking to the rules. He had weird obligations and rituals and followed everything to the letter. That's why he thought he'd make a great shinigami, why he was a security officer. That's also why Yumichika wanted it to be clear in Kenta's mind that _he_ had called it off, not Yumichika.

"Are you not listening to me?" Kenta roared. "I'm done with you."

"You're going to be late for work," Yumichika pointed out, since being late was practically a sin in Kenta's book.

Kenta left. Yumichika sat looking at his hands for awhile. Did I really just make it out somehow? Yumichika thought. Can it really be this easy?

* * *

"Um, hi Ikkaku," Yumichika said.

"Yumichika, come in," Ikkaku moved aside to let Yumichika through the narrow doorway into the cramped apartment. "Hey, are you ok?" he asked, seeing how pale Yumichika's face was. He noticed that Yumichika was carrying a small bag.

"I…Kenta broke up with me," Yumichika said.

Ikkaku felt a mix of emotions at this. His first impulse was to shout, "Oh thank god!" and embrace Yumichika, but his second was to be a lot more cautious. After all, Yuto and his girlfriend broke up all the time. Yumichika and Kenta never had, but it still wasn't an in stone thing to Ikkaku, not after so many years. There was also the fact that _Kenta_ had broken up with _him_. Ikkaku wondered if he was living a parallel universe where that made sense. So, Ikkaku just hugged Yumichika. He was giving him a casual friendly hug, but Yumichika grabbed on to him and pulled him close, holding tightly. Ikkaku couldn't help the happy feeling that came over him. He just wants some comfort, Ikkaku thought to himself, but this feels really good. I guess I'm probably a creep for thinking that.

"I was wondering if I could stay here for a little while," Yumichika said, still clutching Ikkaku.

"Ha ha," Ikkaku laughed.

Yumichika looked up at him.

"You have perfect timing. I just kicked my roommate out," Ikkaku explained.

"What? Why?"

"This is the third month that he hasn't paid rent, and I found him dealing drugs again."

"So…maybe I can stay a little longer than I was planning," Yumichika said. "Now that you have a spare room, I mean."

"Yeah, you can move in if you want," Ikkaku replied. "Assuming…I mean…is it really over with you two?"

"I…yes," Yumichika said. "It is."

I really hope that is true, Ikkaku thought.

The next couple of days went by surprisingly easy. Kenta didn't come pounding on the door and Yumichika didn't whine and wish he were back. The situation still seemed kind of volatile to Ikkaku though. He was actually proud of himself for only being concerned for Yumichika, but he knew that as soon as a little time passed it was going to be harder and harder not to say something to him about his feelings. It already was difficult when he woke up and found Yumichika only wearing boxers making them breakfast. He supposed he should just be thankful that Yumichika wore boxers and not fundoshi like he did. Still, the scene was both erotic and domestic to Ikkaku and caused him to turn right around and hide out in his room until he could get a grip on himself. The last thing Yumichika needed at this instant was something else complicating his emotions. How long to wait though? Ikkaku though. Or…do I even tell him? Of course I do. If I don't and he gets together with some other jackass I'll never forgive myself.

After a couple of days had passed, Kenta _did _show up.

Ikkaku had politely gone into his room, as opposed to pounding Kenta into slurry. He could still hear him though. He's fucking begging, Ikkaku groaned. Wait…now he's being insulting? This guy switches gears like a schizophrenic. You can't go quoting poetry about love and then be threatening violence in the next breath, unless you assume the person you're talking to has extremely short term memory or is mind numbingly stupid.

Yumichika knocked on his door once he had gotten rid of Kenta. "Hey, wanna go out someplace?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ikkaku said.

* * *

It turned out that one week was Ikkaku's limit. He had actually set a longer time line for himself but he was never good at that stuff.

"So I…I mean…I have feelings for you that are…um…," Ikkaku stuttered. What, am I just a kid? Why am I having so much trouble with this? Ikkaku groaned as he thought about how stupid he probably sounded.

"Uh huh," Yumichika encouraged. He had never thought about Ikkaku liking him before. Even as he had been thinking that he'd like to date someone like Ikkaku, he had for some reason never considered going for Ikkaku himself. He thought that Ikkaku would probably think it was too weird, or a rebound thing, and he didn't want to risk his relationship with Ikkaku to try and pursue something romantic. However, it was pretty obvious to him after hanging out with Ikkaku for a week straight that something was going on. Now Ikkaku was trying to get it out, and Yumichika wanted him to just go ahead and say it.

"…Feelings that are stronger than…friendship?" Ikkaku ended on an up note, giving an odd question mark to the end of his sentence.

"Yes?" Yumichika said, looking into Ikkaku's eyes, giving him a warm smile.

"…and I…wow, you really are so beautiful," Ikkaku said. "Oh sorry, I meant…um…"

Yumichika was finding all of Ikkaku's flustering very cute, but he figured it was probably time to put him out of his misery. "I like you too," he said simply.

"Yeah?" Ikkaku said breathily.

"Yup."

"Well then, I…" whatever Ikkaku was going to say was interrupted by the knock on the door.

"Oh, hi Yuto. Hi Hitomi," Ikkaku said almost coldly as he greeted his visitors.

"What's with that?" Yuto asked. "It's not like you didn't know we were coming. Are you ready?"

"…ready…" Ikkaku's mind was coming up blank.

"We're going to the cave springs," Yumichika mentioned.

"Oh, yeah. Gimme a sec," Ikkaku rushed back to grab a towel.

The cave springs were natural springs, crystal clear and slightly warm, but not a hot springs. It was surrounded by lush gardens and trees and had several waterfalls. It was the perfect temperature outside, warm with a slight cool breeze. Hardly any clouds dotted the blue sky.

Since Ikkaku and Yumichika hadn't really worked out anything between them, they tried to just act normal in front of their group of friends. However, when hiking up the mountainside, and when playing around in the water, every time they got a little too close they could both feel it. There was a heat, an electric feeling, a slight tingling whenever their hands or shoulders almost touched. Yumichika splashed him and Ikkaku caught him to throw him into the air, just goofing off like they normally would, except this time it took everything Ikkaku had to not just catch him and hold him, kiss him while their mostly naked bodies pressed up together in the cool water.

NO more thoughts like that! Ikkaku yelled at his brain. He wasn't exactly wearing something that covered him; getting a little too excited was definitely going to be noticed.

Night was coming, and they all began to get dry and dressed, ready to head back to town.

The sun was going down and it was a brilliant sunset. The sky was orange and red, the long clouds traced with purple. Ikkaku looked over at Yumichika. He was standing under a waterfall, his eyes closed and hands out, letting the water wash over him as the darkly glowing sun gave its last warmth.

Ikkaku looked stricken. He actually grabbed onto Yuto to steady himself.

"You ok?" Yuto asked.

Ikkaku ignored him and walked out in the water, neglecting the fact that he had already gotten dressed and drenching his pants up to his knees. Yumichika walked towards him, smiling. It had been an idyllic day with a stunning sunset, he was happy and calmed after a stressful week. The water from the waterfall had pounded over his shoulders like a massive shower, washing away his past and his worries.

"Yumichika," Ikkaku said. "I love you."

Yumichika blinked a little at that. He hadn't exactly traveled that far in his mind yet as far as Ikkaku was concerned. He'd been taking things one at a time, trying to not think to hard about anything because it mostly all hurt to think about anyways. Yumichika wasn't prepared to say it back, and he wasn't a person that would lie about something so important. "Thank you," he said.

Luckily, Ikkaku didn't take offense to Yumichika's lack of a response. He was too shocked by the words that came out of his mouth. He'd never told anyone he loved them, and he had never imagined it would be so easy. There was a little agitatation that he had just blurted it out, but Yumichika had smiled about it so he guessed it was alright.

When they got home they first thing they did when the door closed was kiss. Ikkaku was worried about screwing things up, so he gave a tentative but tender kiss. Yumichika wasn't having any of that. He pulled Ikkaku into a more passionate kiss that left him breathless, before heading off for the shower.

"We were just in the water all day," Ikkaku called after him.

"Yeah, but I didn't get to wash my hair!" Yumichika shouted out through the door.

Ikkaku personally really liked whatever it was that Yumichika did to his hair. It always smelled like orange blossoms to him. It wasn't a womanly smell, or a manly smell for that matter, to him it always just registered as Yumichika-smell and even just having orange juice now made him a little happy. "Ok," he said, hearing the water begin to run shortly after. Having a working shower was one of the only perks of living in the crappy apartment he'd been leaving in for the last five years. It was made of crumbling brick, had mold in the ceiling that terrified Yumichika, and the tiniest kitchen Ikkaku had ever seen. It used to smell of the drug of the week from his roommate, or of heavy perfume from the many women his roommate would drag back. Ikkaku had never quite understood the draw. His roommate had no job, no money (in general, he had to have some to get drugs he supposed), and was obese. Yet still there was almost always some trampy woman for him to help out in the morning. Things were a lot better since Yumichika had gotten there. Although it had only been a week the place already seemed more cheery.

He likes me, he kissed me, Ikkaku was thinking. Holy shit, I told him I loved him, he remembered all of sudden. We haven't even been on a date yet. Man I'm coming off strong.

They were both starving so after Yumichika got out he started to make dinner. Ikkaku attempted to help but was waved off. He admitted that he was more of hindrance than an asset in the kitchen. He approached Yumichika from behind and put his arms around him. Yumichika recoiled at the touch, almost jumping into the stovetop.

"S-sorry," Ikkaku said in shock.

"It's…not your fault," Yumichika replied quietly.

Ikkaku felt the happiness that he'd been feeling all day start to slip up. That bastard, he thought. What else did he do to you? You always used to be physically friendly.

* * *

Yumichika had known that it would be a pain to convince Ikkaku to let him pack up his stuff and move out by himself, so he just waited until he knew Ikkaku would be gone. Ikkaku didn't have a steady job but he made money by doing odd jobs as a repairman, fixing doors, floors, walls, the occasional squeaky chair, and things of that nature. Yumichika waited until he left for work and then headed over to his old apartment. He was hoping that Kenta wouldn't be there. He would usually be working at this time but his schedule was unpredictable.

Unfortunately, Kenta was very much home.

"Yumichika," Kenta answered the door with a sigh of relief.

"I'm just here for my stuff," Yumichika said, avoiding Kenta's eyes.

"That can't be all," Kenta said, not moving from the doorway. "Why won't you even look at me? Do you feel guilty?"

Yumichika felt like yelling, "GUILTY FOR WHAT YOU ASSHOLE!" but starting an argument wasn't something he was planning on doing. "No, I don't. Now move so I can get in."

Kenta moved, he even helped Yumichika pack, which would have been a nice gesture but Yumichika knew it was just so that he could continually talk to Yumichika about how he'd really been thinking about his life, and making changes, and blah blah blah.

"I really hope all of that is true," Yumichika said.

"It is true," Kenta assured him.

"Well then, I hope you have a happier life," Yumichika picked up a box and walked it to the door.

"What? No, come on," Kenta said. "I want to be better for you."

He was starting to do that thing where his eyes got glossy and his voice started trembling and Yumichika was happy that for once, instead of it bothering him, it just pissed him off. He had always known it was just a ploy to manipulate him, because he absolutely hated seeing people cry, even people he didn't know. However, he had still fallen for it. Right now though, all he saw was someone trying to force him to do something he didn't want to.

"I'm not coming back," Yumichika said. "You're the one that said it was over, and you were right." Yumichika was glad that he had that to rely on. If there was anything that Kenta hated doing, it was admitting he was wrong.

"I was wrong," Kenta said immediately.

Yumichika was a little shocked at that but didn't let it get to him.

"Let me take you to lunch," Kenta pressed.

"No."

* * *

Yumichika was hungry though. He had made one trip across town already and was going to have to do another, so he stopped off at a ramen place nearby.

"Hi," Kenta said.

"Why are you here?" Yumichika asked bluntly.

"Because I know that you like to come here."

"Great, now you're stalking me."

"Did you enjoy the springs the other day?"

Yumichika closed his eyes. Great, he really was being stalked.

"Yes, I did," Yumichika said. "It was exactly the sort of thing that you hate and that I enjoy. It was right in the middle of your work day. I loved it. I loved being with my friends and I loved kissing Ikkaku afterward." He had thrown that last part out on a whim but instantly regretted it.

"You what?" Kenta asked angrily.

Yumichika didn't answer.

"You little slut. What, you can't pay the rent so you're sleeping your way…"

"Damn it, Kenta, how can you be such an asshole still?" Yumichika mussed. "Go away and don't bother me."

"Oh no, I'm not going away, and you know I'm not. Now that I know that you're fucking Ikkaku I know that all I have to do to get you back is…"

"STOP BEING SO DUMB!" Yumichika yelled, getting the other patrons of the ramen shop's attention. "He is not the reason I left you, because you left me. He is not the reason I am not coming back to you, I'm not coming back to you because you're a fucking psychopath and I've finally come to terms with that. He's not the reason you can't have me, because you can never touch me again you fucking bastard!"

"Oh really?" Kenta reached over and grabbed Yumichika harshly behind the head, pulling him into a kiss.

"You jerk!" Yumichika yelled as he pushed Kenta off.

Kenta just laughed as he left. "You still have stuff at the apartment, remember," he said. "I guess I'll just wait for you there."

Like hell I'm going back there now, Yumichika thought. He went straight back to his new apartment, running into Ikkaku on the way in.

"Hey, Yumichika. You went out?" Ikkaku asked. "Yumichika?" he said again when he saw the expression on his best friend's face.

"I'm…fine," Yumichika replied.

"You're shaking, what happened?"

"Kenta…" Yumichika didn't want to explain the whole thing, but one word was all Ikkaku needed.

"That's it! I'm fucking killing that…"

"Please, just let it be," Yumichika didn't want any more drama, he just wanted Kenta to go away, to crawl into whatever hole he came out of and never bother him again.

"I…ok," Ikkaku didn't want to agree but Yumichika looked so pained and worried right now. "Can I do anything?" he asked, feeling helpless. Yumichika leaned into his arms in answer, closing his eyes and pressing his face into Ikkaku's chest. Ikkaku held him, wishing there was more he could do. "You know what the old Yumichika would say?" Ikkaku said.

"What?"

"I'm too beautiful to be dealing with this."

"Well, I am," Yumichika laughed.


	3. Stalking

**Stalking**

* * *

Yumichika opened the door and found a bouquet of flowers on the step. His first impulse was the kick it to high heaven but he decided instead to pick it up and escort it to its new home, the dumpster. Unfortunately he ran into Ikkaku before he got there.

"What's that?" Ikkaku asked.

"Um…" Yumichika's mind went blank, not wanting to lie but not really wanting to tell the truth.

"Don't let me stop you," Ikkaku said, his eyes narrowing as he figured it out.

Yumichika sighed and threw the flowers away. Kenta had been dropping things off at their doorstep several times a week, leaving notes, food, gifts. Yumichika had been trying to get rid of it all before Ikkaku could see it, but he doubted that he had been entirely successful.

"Hey, remember when some kids set the dumpster on fire and we were just sitting down here laughing at it and Kenta go pissed off at us saying we weren't be responsible to the community or something?" Yumichika said, trying to lighten the mood.

"God that was funny. He actually lectured us and called the fire department. I was giggling the whole time," Ikkaku said with a laugh.

Yumichika was happy he had gotten Ikkaku's mind off of it, because it was something that was really starting to drive him batty and he didn't want Ikkaku to know the extent of it. Yumichika had found Kenta lounging around outside several times. He'd tell Yumichika (when he came out to yell at him) that he was "just checking in to make sure you were ok". Yumichika noticed Kenta all the time, when he picked up food and when he walked to work. It was a small town, but not that small. The worst was at work, because he couldn't leave and he also didn't feel like he could kick out Kenta since Kenta would occasionally buy things. He knew that he should go to his manager and tell her what was going on but she was such a bitch that he didn't want her to know anything about his personal life that she could lord over him. On the other hand, his coworkers were fantastic. The next day when Kenta had shown up, again, Hina blocked the door.

"Go away," she said firmly.

"You can't stop me from shopping here," Kenta said angrily.

"Oh yes I can," Hina replied.

"I'll talk to your manager," Kenta threatened.

"If you want to talk to that old battle axe be my guest, but she's not here right now and I'm not telling you when she will be in, so fuck off," Hina said.

Kenta grumbled and left.

"Thanks," Yumichika said from behind the counter.

"No problem. You were there for me when I got pregnant and Jun kept coming around harassing me."

"How is little Aya doing?" Yumichika asked.

"Great! Her hair turned a little lighter now, I think it's going to be a light brown."

"That will definitely go well with her eyes, she has such delicate coloring," Yumichika said. "And for the record, you were way out of Jun's league. He looked like an ape, only with more hair and less knowledge about hygiene."

Hina laughed at that. "Well, Kenta isn't up to your standards either. I was surprised when you started dating him."

"He's not traditionally beautiful, but the angles of his face, his strong jaw, and the color of his hair and eyes drew me to him."

"I don't know if you noticed from in here, but he looks like he's putting on some weight."

"Oh really?" Yumichika asked with glee.

Hina laughed again. "It's not like Ikkaku is 'traditionally beautiful' either," she pointed out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. He's perfect," Yumichika said with a sigh. "And you really should see him when he has his shirt off."

* * *

It turns out that Kenta hadn't completely left, which Yumichika found out as he started walking home. "Look, go away or I'm…" Yumichika was cut off as Kenta threw him over his shoulder and started sprinting. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" Yumichika screamed at him. Before he knew it, he was back in his old apartment. "Kenta, I swear…" Yumichika was interrupted by a pair of lips smashing down on his.

"Yumichika…" Kenta moaned, moving his lips down and kissing at his neck passionately.

For a moment Yumichika didn't do anything. He wasn't sure if it was shock or if he was just trapped in memories, but when he felt his kimono being opened up he began to panic.

"Stop!" Yumichika said, pushing Kenta away.

"I know you miss me," Kenta said, kissing down Yumichika's bare chest.

"STOP!" Yumichika ordered again, trying to shove Kenta away. "I don't miss you! Damn it, stop!"

"Liar," Kenta said, reaching for Yumichika's fundoshi.

Yumichika paused for a second, at an impasse, then he reach back and punched Kenta in the side of the head. Kenta fell sideways to the ground and Yumichika hurriedly pulled his clothes back closed. He was on his way out when he realized that Kenta hadn't moved.

"Shit," Yumichika said. He went over to Kenta, seeing the trickle of blood coming from the back of his head. "Damn it," Yumichika leaned over Kenta. "Wake up! Kenta, wake up!" He had been pretty mad and hadn't really controlled himself at all. Great, I've fucking killed him, Yumichika thought with a groan.

"Yumichika?" Kenta's eyes opened. He grabbed Yumichika's hands, which were supporting his head.

"Don't you dare!" Yumichika said with a glare. Kenta let go of him.

"Why did you do that?" Kenta asked, sitting up.

"Why the hell do you think I did it? Did you think I was just going to let you rape me?" Yumichika yelled at him.

"I wasn't going to…"

"FUCK YOU! You probably just think you own me, huh? So it's no harm, no foul and you can do whatever the hell you want to me! I can't believe I was worried about you when I should have been cussing myself out for not hitting you harder!" Yumichika stormed out. Kenta got up and made his way to the door but Yumichika began to flash step all the way back to his new apartment.

* * *

When Ikkaku got home he noticed that something unusual was up. For one thing, Yumichika was completely drunk.

"Heeeeeyy, Ikkaaaakuuu!" Yumichika sang happily as he walked in.

"Are you drunk?" Ikkaku asked, confused. Yumichika never drank. He didn't like how sake made him warm and sweaty and he didn't like feeling like crap the next morning.

"Ikkaku," Yumichika was now wrapped around him, breathing into his ears.

"Mmm," Ikkaku moaned as Yumichika kissed at neck. "Fuck," he said as Yumichika licked his ear. They hadn't had sex yet (not that Ikkaku wasn't dying for it) because he was worried about Yumichika and wanted to make sure that… "Oh my god, please stop," he called out, his thought process broken off as Yumichika's hand dove under his tunic and rubbed at his thigh.

"Ikkaku, I want you," Yumichika said huskily.

Ikkaku wasn't someone who considered himself to have a lot of self control even in the best of times. He picked Yumichika up and marched him into the bedroom. He quickly pulled off his tunic and untied Yumichika's kimono, getting in bed next to him and holding him close. Just the feeling of their skin touching each other was making him tremble. He kissed Yumichika deeply, their tongues intertwining. Panting, he ran his fingers along Yumichika's chest, settling at his fundoshi. Yumichika couldn't help it, it was just too similar…he shuddered violently. Ikkaku pulled his hands away and looked at Yumichika, concerned. He saw utter panic in his eyes. "What the fuck?" Ikkaku asked.

"Please, just…I want you," Yumichika pleaded.

Ikkaku pulled Yumichika up onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him. "Look, there's no rush on this," he said. "We don't have to have sex."

"I just want you to touch me."

"I can do that without…doing whatever the hell is freaking you out. What the hell happened?"

"Nothing," Yumichika said. Then, knowing that Ikkaku had a pretty good bullshit meter he amended it to, "I don't want to talk about it."

Ikkaku pulled away and looked into Yumichika's face for a long time. He debated. "I think I've been pretty good so far," he said.

"You've been wonderful," Yumichika agreed.

"But I can't let this slide."

Yumichika closed his eyes.

"So tell me what happened," Ikkaku insisted. "You weren't like this in the morning."

"I just don't want you to get mad," Yumichika claimed. "Just…please touch me."

"I don't want to feel like I'm fucking raping you," Ikkaku said. He felt Yumichika stiffen in his arms and felt a coldness grow in him. "Yumichika, you better tell me what happened now because I'm starting to freak out."

"Kenta grabbed me after work and took me to the apartment. He…was all over me," Yumichika said.

"…and?" Ikkaku forced himself to ask when Yumichika paused.

"And I knocked his ass out," Yumichika continued.

"Good," Ikkaku said. "At least you didn't kill him, because I've been bored lately and could use the stress relief."

"Please, just leave him alone," Yumichika begged.

"Do you still care about him?"

Yumichika could feel the strain in the question. He looked up at Ikkaku and saw pain in his face. "No," he said. "I mean, I care enough for him to not want him dead, but I don't feel a shadow of what I feel for you."

It really wasn't enough for Ikkaku, but then again, putting one of the heads of security for the town into a coma (or worse) wasn't going to win him any friends, unless he made new ones in jail of course. "Ok," he promised hesitantly. You know, unless I see him and he pisses me off, he added to himself.

"I really do want you," Yumichika said.

"Hm," Ikkaku grinned down at him.

"Honestly, it's been forever and I can hardly wait," Yumichika said with a smile.

"Wait, what?" Ikkaku asked. "You guys haven't been broken up that long."

"Well…um…," Yumichika mumbled. "You see, there are things that Kenta thinks are kind of disgusting so we never did them."

"Like what?"

"Well, like anal sex."

Ikkaku was incredulous. "Are you kidding me?"

"It's not that…unusual," Yumichika said.

"You have to be joking. Fine, maybe it's not someone's thing it but to actually say it's disgusting…to you? I know you well enough to know that you read that as 'you're disgusting'," Ikkaku said. Looking down at Yumichika he could clearly see that he had hit the mark.

"I'm…not," Yumichika got out.

"Damn straight you're not," Ikkaku said. "In fact…ok, so this is going to make me sound like a total pervert, but I'll tell you because you might get a kick out of it. So for years when I've thought about you…"

"Wait," Yumichika cut him off. "Years?"

"Did I not make that clear? I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you," Ikkaku said.

Yumichika blushed.

"I admit at first it was a lot more lust than love, but every time I saw you I just got in deeper and liked you more and more the longer we knew each other. So, when I look back there's not a time since I've known you that I didn't love you."

Yumichika's eyes were large and round, his lips slightly open as he watched Ikkaku talk.

"The whole time I couldn't even date anyone else because I was so into you," Ikkaku continued.

"I knew you weren't dating, but are you saying that you never even out and had sex, a one night stand or anything?" Yumichika asked.

"Naw, BUT I did think about you a lot," Ikkaku said with a grin. "This is where the pervert part comes in, because I've pretty much imagined doing anything that can possibly be done to you."

Yumichika's blush deepened. It tickled Ikkaku to see it because usually Yumichika took compliments in stride. It was only when he was caught by surprise or truly felt it that it affected him at all.

"So I can honestly say that there probably isn't a single thing that I could do to you that you could name that I would consider disgusting," Ikkaku finished. "Hell, if you took a look at my imagination, you might be blushing a lot harder."

"Such a pervert," Yumichika said with a mock sigh.

"Yeah, you're just gonna have to deal with it."

"Mmm," Yumichika nuzzled his neck. "We can always start dealing with it now."

"As fantastic as that…sounds…" Ikkaku's voice cracked on the last word when Yumichika nibbled at his jawbone. "We just going to have to wait a little," he forced himself to say.

Yumichika looked disappointed.

"I don't want you to pull away or flinch when I touch you," he said.

"I'm sorry," Yumichika apologized.

"Don't be sorry for it, it's not like you can help it," Ikkaku said. "I just want it to be perfect. I've waited a long time and I can wait a little longer until the time is right."

"I love you so much," Yumichika said, smiling up at him.

Ikkaku choked a little. "What?" he said quietly.

"Oh, I must have forgotten to tell you that," Yumichika teased. "I love you, Ikkaku," he repeated.

Ikkaku pulled him up into a tender kiss. "Yumichika…I love you," he said as they pulled away. He shifted a little uncomfortably. "…but…we're really going to have to out and get food or something because if I'm here with you in bed any longer I'm going to pounce on you and I'm going to take back my whole 'let's wait' speech back."

Yumichika laughed.

* * *

Later that night, Yumichika opened Ikkaku's door and climbed into bed with him.

"Mm?" Ikkaku started waking up. He felt Yumichika's warm body wrap around his. He sighed and snuggled up to Yumichika before going back to sleep.

"You were telling the truth," Yumichika said in the morning.

"What?" Ikkaku asked between mouthfuls of breakfast.

"You're definitely a pervert if I can judge by the dream you seemed to be having last night."

It was Ikkaku's turn to blush.

Yumichika laughed. He was also totally lying.


	4. Vacation

**Vacation**

_A/N: Warning, fluff and lemon ahead!_

_

* * *

_

It had only been a couple of weeks since Yumichika and Ikkaku had gotten together but the New Year was coming up and it was time for Ikkaku's traditional vacation. His friends weren't really sure where it was that he went, but he always went alone and came back a couple of weeks later.

"You want me to come with you?" Yumichika asked. "It's not because you're worried about me, is it? Because I'm fine by myself." Yumichika wasn't talking about being lonely, he was pretty sure that Ikkaku was worried about him being left alone with no one to defend him from Kenta, or to keep him from getting into trouble.

"No, that's no it at all. I just want you there," Ikkaku assured him. "Besides, its New Year's, it's time for people to celebrate the ending of the old year and the beginning of the new, I can't think of anyone better to be with. We can look forward to the new year together."

"Where do you go?" Yumichika asked.

"I think I'm going to keep it a secret. Honestly, it's no place special and if I told you, you might not come."

"I doubt that," Yumichika said. The idea of getting away with Ikkaku sounded almost too good to be true. It's not like being in the apartment was bad, but even the apartment rang with memories of parties when he was still with Kenta, of bad arguments outside while he was pulled away from friends to go back home, and of his old life in general. Yes, the new year should be greeted from someplace new, with Ikkaku. He didn't even care where it was as long as it wasn't here, here in this apartment or in this crappy town.

"You sure?" Ikkaku asked. "It's kind of rugged, and it's usually cold as hell."

"It'll be a nice change, considering how mild it is here even in the winter," Yumichika offered, although he now was secretly wondering where the hell it was that they were going that would be that much colder.

Yumichika so wanted to get away that when his work wouldn't give him time off, he just quit. He'd worry about it later, and maybe work some place where it would be harder for Kenta to harass him.

* * *

It took several long days of traveling to get there. Yumichika found that he didn't mind though. He enjoyed the mind numbingness of the fatigue, of the simple pleasure of collapsing in exhaustion at the end of the day and snuggling with Ikkaku against a tree some place in front of a rough campfire.

"Here we are," Ikkaku said as they finally made it through the mountain pass. Below them was a wide valley, a small river running through the middle of it, covered in trees. "I uh, I actually own this," he said.

"What?" Yumichika asked, shocked.

"Yeah, it was a ranch that I worked at. The old lady gave it to me when she died. It's still operational and all, not that it makes much money or that I can put much money into it. It's enough for the hands that work here though, and I come here at least once a year to check on things. They send me some of the nut harvest and some dried meat after roundup. We have some fruit trees too. I'm pretty sure you've had some of the jam and dried fruit from here before."

"Yeah…," Yumichika was a little speechless.

"Haha, it probably looks impressive to you, but around here it's nothing. Like I said, it doesn't make any money, but it's a good place to come to now and again. It would be hard to live here all the time though, it's pretty lonesome."

"It's beautiful," Yumichika said. And it was. Even though all of nut and fruit trees were barren because of the season, their elegant branches stood out looking almost black against the purple hazy mountains behind them, glowing around the edges as the sun went down. It was a stark beauty, but it was there none the less.

"We better hurry; it gets really cold once the sun goes down. There's a small cabin up ahead that I stay at. The main building is further in, we can go there later," Ikkaku explained.

Yumichika wasn't sure what he was expecting of the cabin, but whatever it was, it wasn't what he found. The whole place was very cozy, covered in handcrafted knit work, art, and woodcraft.

"I guess it's pretty obvious that I inherited this place," Ikkaku said with a laugh, seeing Yumichika's face. "It's a little…feminine for me, but it's comfortable, and there's no reason for me to get rid of all this stuff."

"I think the lace doilies really make it pop," Yumichika said with a grin.

"Is that what those things are called? It seems like a table should be ok by itself but I swear every surface in here is covered with one of those white lace things," Ikkaku replied, scratching his head.

"At least there's no dead stuffed animals lurking about," Yumichika laughed. "Or…there isn't, is there?"

"Naw, no dead animals here. There's a bunch of cats in the main barn, and some of the team have dogs, but that's about all, aside from squirrels. You'll hear them running along the tin roof at night, don't let it worry you."

"You sound so country right now," Yumichika said with sparkling eyes.

"Oh?"

"I think it's cute," Yumichika stated. "I would never have thought of you like this before."

"The country had a certain lure after growing up in the streets, but I had to get back after awhile. I guess there are some things that you can't shake," Ikkaku admitted. Plus, if I had stayed here I wouldn't have met you, he thought to himself. "I should mention a big bonus about this cabin," Ikkaku said, walking over to a small door which he pulled open. Set into the ground was a sunken closet, full of bottles. "The old lady really liked her liquor."

"Well then, since I'm a bit chilled, let's start a fire and enjoy something warming to drink then," Yumichika suggested.

"Absolutely," Ikkaku agreed.

Dinner was meager but good, and Yumichika practically passed out on the overstuffed mattress in the guest bedroom. He did wake up early in the morning thinking that someone was breaking into his apartment, confused as to where he was. "Those would be the squirrels, I'm guessing," Yumichika thought, after he woke up a little more. How can such tiny things make so much noise? He wondered.

That morning Yumichika went to the main building and Ikkaku showed him around the ranch. Yumichika tried to ignore the fact that the dogs kept licking and slobbering on him, and the fact that it was cold enough that his breath showed up as a white fog. At night, it struck him how unnaturally quiet it was. Or rather, naturally quiet, since it was the noise of the city that he wasn't hearing for the first time in his life. Even when he'd traveled it had always been on major routes, so he'd never really been in "the wilderness". He wondered if Ikkaku would laugh at him for considering this "the wilderness".

The second morning Yumichika woke up freezing and without even thinking dove into Ikkaku's bed and fell asleep under the covers clutching at Ikkaku's warm body.

Ikkaku woke up utterly turned on.

"Yumichika," he said into Yumichika's ear.

"Mmm, what?" Yumichika mumbled, burying his face into Ikkaku's neck.

"Yumichika, what are you doing to me?" Ikkaku moaned.

Of course that's when Yumichika realized something that he should have figured out when he first climb in to Ikkaku's bed, although evidentially his brain had been too clouded by sleep to think about it. Ikkaku wasn't wearing any clothing.

"How can you sleep completely naked when it's so cold?" Yumichika said, trying to ignore how very aroused he had quickly become.

"I don't know why, I usually don't," Ikkaku stated. Yumichika's hot body was pressed against his flesh and it felt so damn good.

Yumichika trailed his hand across Ikkaku's chest, listening to Ikkaku's breathing start to get deeper. When asleep he had curled his body around Ikkaku's and he could now feel Ikkaku's erection, like a hot rod pressed against his upper thigh. It was too much temptation for Yumichika, whose hand fell from Ikkaku's chest to under the blanket, to come to rest lightly on Ikkaku's cock. Ikkaku immediately moaned at the contact. Yumichika watched his face intently, loving the slight blush that was across Ikkaku's cheeks, how big and wide Ikkaku's eyes seemed, and how Ikkaku was tugging on the corner of his lip with his teeth ever so slightly.

Yumichika's hand was almost trembling as it began to explore Ikkaku's body, although to be fair, it was mostly his lower body it traveled at first. Ikkaku vibrated under his touch, responding to every caress. Yumichika was breathless as he moved, not daring to say anything else, not wanting to break the spell. There was an intense strain in their silence, but it was a good strain, full of sexual tension.

Finally Yumichika gave in to Ikkaku's begging eyes and began to disrobe, staying close to Ikkaku so as to not lose any warmth, the chill in the air biting at his ears and nose. Ikkaku gasped when Yumichika lay back next to him, naked this time. He slowly kissed at Yumichika's neck and collarbone, savoring with delight the sensations he was feeling run through him. Yumichika's hands ran over his head and across his back. Ikkaku took the bottom of Yumichika's ear into his mouth, gnawing on it gently before pressing his lips into the hollow behind his ear, his kisses growing more intense and long, small red marks appearing in their wake. Yumichika's breathing was becoming ragged, his body pressed tightly to Ikkaku to not allow any space between them, now clutching at the small of his back, pulling Ikkaku's hips into him.

Ikkaku growled slightly at the sudden intensity of feeling at their lower halves. He pulled Yumichika's shoulder towards him, so that the two were face to face. He looked deeply into Yumichika's eyes before kissing him gently, and then more passionately, their tongues combining, their moaning coming from deep within them as their bodies began to move against each other, seeking friction. Yumichika pulled away for breath, throwing his head backward as he made noises of ecstasy that drove Ikkaku to distraction. Ikkaku assaulted Yumichika's offered neck, finding a spot that made Yumichika turn to jelly and not letting up, causing Yumichika to get louder and louder in his moans. Yumichika's fingers were digging into Ikkaku's back, wanting him closer and closer. Ikkaku couldn't take anymore and held up a hand in front of Yumichika. Yumichika gladly took in his fingers, sucking on them in such a way that Ikkaku's dick twitched from the sheer pressure of it. Yumichika nibbled on the tips of the fingers as Ikkaku pulled them out of his mouth, causing them to tingle.

Ikkaku didn't need to be reminded that Yumichika hadn't had sex this way for a long time; he wanted to take all the time in the world with this anyways. Yumichika wrapped a leg around Ikkaku's hip and Ikkaku gently prodded at his entrance with a single finger, gasping when it found purchase and entered. It wasn't until he entered with his second finger that he started to move around, stretching, but also teasing, driving Yumichika further into lust with his thrusts. Still, he didn't even try to find Yumichika's prostate until he got three fingers in, and then he almost caressed it several times before hammering at it non-stop for several minutes, bringing Yumichika close to tears with his yells of pleasure. Ikkaku could almost just do that, bring Yumichika to a climax that way, but both he and Yumichika wanted the intense closeness that only happens from full penetration, from sharing a body and the close physical contact that comes from it. Ikkaku desperately wanted to feel Yumichika's tightness and heat, and Yumichika wanted more than anything to feel full with Ikkaku, to feel that slight tugging inside of him and that indescribable feeling of joy and pain that came when being entered.

Ikkaku braced himself for a moment before doing it, looking at the body below him. Yumichika was facing him, so that they could both fully see each other's emotions, both see the flicker of sensations go across their faces as they finally completely coupled. He pushed in then, not forcefully, but not slowly. Yumichika gasped and Ikkaku fell forward to lean on his forearms as the feelings temporarily overwhelmed him. Ikkaku lay there gaining his breath and letting Yumichika adjust to the sudden intrusion. Suddenly, Yumichika lifted up Ikkaku's head and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Ikkaku became to move slowly as their lips were still connected, moving in time with his lover's body as he felt Yumichika rise and fall as well.

Yumichika gave up on kissing and lay backward with a blessed out look on his face, his hands at Ikkaku's hips, guiding him gently. The look of submission on Yumichika's face drove Ikkaku even further, his movements becoming quicker, harder, deeper. He changed his angle to make sure that he pleasured Yumichika's prostate gland with every thrust. Yumichika arched his back into the sheets to gain extra traction as the two bodies moved in complete harmony.

Yumichika could feel Ikkaku's movements becoming more erratic, felt the grip on him slipping. Before he completely lost control, Ikkaku reached for Yumichika, to bring him to an end first, having to pump only briefly before Yumichika's body spasmed, emptying himself onto his stomach and chest. His insides clamped down tightly on Ikkaku, releasing Ikkaku from his last bit of self control as he too orgasmed, pouring into his lover with a gasp.

The two lay there, collapsed in pleasant silence for several moments, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"You are so beautiful," Ikkaku whispered, still gasping. "I love you so much."

"…Ikkaku," Yumichika replied quietly. "Ikkaku, I love you too."

They eventually had to separate, both sighing at the need as well as the feelings that came with it. Barely bothering to do some minor cleanup, they fell back into each other's arms and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

When Yumichika woke up, he found Ikkaku in the kitchen, looking out the window at the barren landscape of the dormant orchard, his hands warming up on a mug of tea.

"Look," Yumichika said brightly, "You managed to boil water!" he joked.

Ikkaku looked over with a smile and pulled Yumichika towards him tightly, kissing him on the crown of his head. "Hey," Ikkaku said.

"Hey," Yumichika replied.

"You ok?" Ikkaku asked.

"Yeah," Yumichika answered. He gave a satisfied grunt and wrapped his arms around Ikkaku. "We should do that more often."

"Hell yeah we should," Ikkaku agreed.

* * *

Yumichika always looked back on that time that they spent in the cabin as some of his fondest memories. All they really did was eat only moderately decent food, drink a lot, and have constant sex. Then again, what else did anyone really need, after all? The beauty of the place was something that Yumichika would always remember. He even cherished the cold because it always drove him into Ikkaku's arms.

They would sit out on the roof at night, looking at the stars, much brighter out in the country than Yumichika was used to, tell stupid stories, and huddle in each other's warmth.

Yumichika almost wished he wasn't so much of a city boy, and that they could have stayed out there forever. But, just like Ikkaku had said, they had to return sometime.

They met the New Year the same way that the did every night at the cabin, with professions of love in body and spirit, snuggling up to each other's spent bodies afterward, feeling like they had just discovered something truly valuable, a secret known only to them.

* * *

The journey back was sleepy. They took more time going home then they had going away, neither really want to get back to "the real world". Yumichika would have to look for a job, Ikkaku knew that he had to finish making some wanna-a-be nobleman a deck and that he'd have to suck up to the man's shrew of a wife while ignoring her come-on's.

They both weren't looking forward with having to deal with Kenta again, or the whole messy situation regarding his ex-relationship with Yumichika.

"Hey," Ikkaku said as they stood on the outskirts of town.

"Yeah?"

"Let's always be together," Ikkaku said.

"That's the plan, isn't it?" Yumichika said with a twinkle in his eye.


End file.
